https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=275840409104130
My poem <3, my pic <3
 I have been in dampened spirits A LOT as of late b/c I am wondering if all that drama I HAD back in the day will ever allow me to experience this thing they call happiness. Pity party? Maybe…but I do believe that I have remained strong enough for long enough for everyone else. And I believe that everyone is entitled to one here and there as long as they do not allow it to overcome them…like back when I was drinking as a form of self medication and as a way of running. I am done running . I have confidence now, something I never had before. My problem is…once again, the heart on my sleeve thing. All of these men I come across say they want certain things. I offer that and more. I have been TOLD I do…so then I guess my question would be why all of the ‘good guys’ end up with stale, cheating and dishonest, for lack of better words…bitches?
~*Wish I could sever the Heart strings that lead back to you. Wish I could severe my arm, with the Heart I bear on it…*~
~*Manda*~
Feeling like…The brightness of a future is still too far off. Everything that is the essential happiness..is within arms reach.
But I am immobilized, stuck, and frozen in time.
The demons of my past threaten to drag me back.
But I still stay a mere one step ahead. My emotions have this tendency to cloud my vision at times. 
Like a dense fog, canvasing my horizons. I’m blanketed by my fears, my regrets.
The heaviness of a burden, in boulder form. Rolled from a snowball, gaining shape. 
I’m picking away at this casket so that i can rise again. Digging through the dirt and wreckage of my past, My heart aches to hide again.
It has grown resentful of the sun, it’s pale faded glory seemingly never to return. 
There’s this smile, this thing that you doAssurance that sincerity’s trueThere’s this way that you move, your talka way that you carry yourself, in your walkThere’s this way that you look at me, when you think I don’t noticeA slight of hand to gather mine into yours, a second natured focusOf your attention solely on me, so humbleSomething I’ve never had, your presence makes me stumbleOn my own two feet, nearly fallingI no longer hesitate, no stallingTo follow where you lead, I’m unafraidTo show you who I’ve become, what I’ve madeThere’s this way of ease and comfort thereIn your arms, i almost can’t bareYou bring me back from the darkness of my hellThe tunnel light, you’ve got me under your spellA welcoming one, full of acceptance and understandingYou’ve prepared for me a softer landingWhen life tears at my wings, and I’m weatheredyou’ve made me feel free, no longer tetheredThank You